Showing posts with label Obscure Thoughts.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Obscure Thoughts.. Show all posts

Thursday, April 30, 2009

The story of love, Part II : Beauty or Brains?



"you know my hips don't lie"
- shakira

Not so long ago, whilst enjoying a gelato, I was posed a difficult question by two female friends, "So karthik tell me, what do you look for in a woman - Beauty or Brains?". Any man who poses to be rational would give the obvious answer - "Brains, of course!" and I replied no differently. But then it wasn't as phony as it might sound, at least looking at the history of females I fell for. In hindsight, I would say the question is not as simple to answer.

What is the common gripe of women against men?, "men..men...men, idiots are total suckers for beauty. It doesn't matter how stupid the female is, all they care is how pretty she is, aaaargh!". Are these just proverbial complaints or do they have an element of truth? of course, they do, we all know that. Beauty is a necessity while brains is just a bonus. If you ask a man, who has recently fallen in love, what he has seen in the woman he loves? What would be the likely set of answers? "dude, she is intelligent", "it's her attitude", "it's her innocence", "it's her friendliness", "she's homely" and all that crap. No one truly admits the real reason - that the guy finds her beautiful and the rest niceties are all just added bonuses. If the guy doesn't find the girl beautiful, no matter what other goodies he sees in her, he won't fall in love with her.

What is beauty? has the definition of beauty been consistent over the generations, over the different races, over the people from the same region, or for that matter, has it been consistent for the same guy as he ages? The answer is no, we all know "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder". As a teen, I used to wonder why Naomi Campbell is considered pretty. If you are fat, you cannot be a heroine in Bollywood, but I've heard and observed heroines getting intentionally fat for fame in the tamil movie industry (the trend, may be, is on the decline). If a size-zero supermodel comes to me and asks me to marry her (it's my bloody blog and I will imagine only those hypothetical situations that will please me) ,I would first ask her to eat properly. Historians say at one time, the western world considered fat women to be beautiful (not fat fat of course). May be the painting(and many such Victorian/roman era paintings), by titian circa 1550 AD, might prove that. Whereas the sculptures in medieval India (especially temples from tamilnadu) show goddesses having slim figures. European women like to bathe in the sun, Indian women like to run away from the sun - both to be in accordance to the standards of beauty currently in vogue, in their respective countries. To cut short a long story, the perception of beauty changes from man to man, race to race, generation to generation. Your perception of beauty changes with the kind of people you grow up with, kind of women you've been seeing around, or, in other words, beauty is nurtured. If I were raised in the US, may be, I would have been running after the size-zero ones, if I had been raised in tamilnadu (of yesteryears), I would have been running after plump ones. So, is there no idea of beauty ingrained in my genes? a concept that I was born with? Yes, there is such a concept. As usual, evolution holds the key.

The idea of beauty, that a man is born with, in his genes is........the immensely popular.......36-24-36 hour-glass figure with a round arse/buttocks. Of course, we are not born with those numbers but we are born to appreciate and admire the ratio, of bust/waist/hip. The measurement itself is not important but the ratio is - A big bust, slim waist and a hip wider when compared with the waist. This standard of beauty has been pretty much consistent over the generations, races and individuals. Most of the traditional clothes, be it a saree or a victorian era ball gown or a womens cut tee-shirt, try and accentuate this ratio. The hour glass figure, is pretty much liked by every man on this planet. And when something is consistent and common over the entire human population, you have got to suspect it's evolution. Let's take a bottom-up approach (pun intended). The hips- men swoon over when shakira, with the utmost ease, shakes, and does wonders with her hips. Unfortunately, we can only speculate why men evolved to appreciate a wide hip. The popular theory is that, a wider hip might have fooled men into thinking that the woman's pelvic bone is large (read my earlier post) and hence his baby is safe. It means we are still fools, our brains are hardwired to like wide hips. Men are obsessed with breasts, they really are. Ninth grade science textbook teaches you breasts are secondary sexual organs - meaning they help a woman in attracting a mate. Breasts, definitely do serve the purpose, but it has got to have a reason. When humans, thousands of years ago, still walked on fours, the act of sexual intercourse was performed only with the man penetrating the woman from behind(yes, doggy) and not in the face-to-face way. Because of the 'behind' penetration, a secondary sexual organ had to be behind a woman's body - the arse. We still have those instincts in us and hence we(men) find the arse an integral factor in assessing a woman's sexiness. After we became bipeds, watching the other gender (and penetrating them) became a more open-chested like. So now, the secondary sexual organ had to be in the front side, and breasts took over the role (This transition is evident if you observe chimps and gorillas where breasts seem to have no other purpose other than to give milk to the baby apes). So, breasts became the secondary sexual organs, but why breasts, that once were just milk ducts? Why not ears, or why not the waist become differently shaped? Either you believe something had to change and breasts were chosen or think more and say it had to have a reason. There are multiple theories but I can only remember one, the one which always catches my imagination - the one which says men are fools. The theory says, men were fooled into thinking that larger breasts mean more milk for his baby! Until I read about this theory, I thought a larger breast could indeed store more milk than a smaller one. Hence proved, men are fools! Coming to the last one, the question of why a slim waist?(as i said before, it's not the measurement that is important but the ratio. by a slim waist I mean, slimmer compared to the hip) May be a slimmer waist just helped to show how wide the hip is, may be.

I've written what a man finds attractive in a woman and why. I've tried to define beauty from a man's point of view. I said a man has to find a woman beautiful before he falls in love with her. There is still one question left unanswered - Why does a man have to find a woman beautiful? why doesn't a man share his life with the first woman that comes in his path? why does he have to be choosy - by assessing her beauty? Like I said earlier, a man finds attractive in a woman those attributes/characteristics that would help his baby. This also answers the current question, he wants a beautiful wife because his idea of beauty(that has been etched into his brain) is beneficial for his unborn baby. Why does he (or his brain) care about an unborn child so much so that he bases his entire perception of beauty on what he thinks would be great for that child? As I wrote in my earlier post, every species evolves such that its genes are well preserved into the next generation, that is why. Why is this not observed in other species - during their mating season, a peacock mates with any peahen that chooses him, a bullock will mate with any cow, a male lion will mate with any set of female lions that join his harem. Then why this extraordinary pressure on female humans to be beautiful, why human males are choosy? Love and its origins have the answers. Since humans share their entire lives with a single partner, he has to be choosy, he has only one shot at fathering a healthy set of babies because he will have those babies with only one partner. Whereas, in species that have a no concept of marriage, the males have multiples shots at becoming father to babies from multiple females - in such a case it doesn't make sense to be choosy, it makes sense to mate as much as possible to spread the male's genes. So in other species, where males need not be choosy and selective, the females are under no pressure to be beautiful.

Richard Dawkins, in his book 'The Selfish Gene', writes how we are all just slaves of our genes. Our entire existence is just to satisfy the whims of those genes. But we do have free-will, something that gives us the strength of acting against our primal instincts. Matt Ridley, in his book 'Genome: The Autobiography of a Species in 23 Chapters', writes how, even free-will is just an illusion created by genes and we are never actually free (much like the premise of the movie, The Matrix). In a hypothetical situation, suppose you can choose to either lie(and get away) or speak the truth(and give some explanation). It might seem you have a choice, but in reality you don't, the outcome has already been decided by your genes. In the future, when the human genome is perfectly decoded, it could be possible to know what exactly you would do in a particular well-defined situation. The movie 'Gattaca' has a storyline similar to this. At the climax of that movie, the hero(with a weak set of genes) does extra-ordinary things and the movie closes with the line,"there is no human gene for courage"; I would beg to differ, there is a human gene for everything. All is not lost; Matt Ridley also says free-will is very much possible. I am not too well-versed in those aspects of genes and hence can't reproduce here what he wrote. I, personally, don't like the idea of not having a choice, of not having a free-will, I sincerely wish we do.

PS: What I have written is not the brainchild of my genius. I've only written what I have read. If you are interested in reading more about evolution and love, read this wonderful book by Matt Ridley - The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature.
Next part: Time for Women to Choose

Photo1 Courtesy: Bill Watterson and his genius
Photo2 Courtesy: Titian, don't know who holds the copyrights
Photo3 Courtesy: photographersdirect.com

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The story of love, Part I : The Origins.

Man: Why do I love? Why do I want to be loved?....WHAT IS LOVE?
God: The punishment for wanting to walk on two legs and not on your fours like every other creature.
Man: [&^%&**$%^&] What the......???!!!
God: lol



Love is, quintessentially, the reason why humans bond and form a pair. Would love had existed if there had not been a tendency among humans to form a sexual couple? Or am I jumbling the the cause and effect relationship here - is love the cause or the effect? Most romantics might say humans are capable of love and hence they form pairs but the actual truth is the opposite. We have an evolutionary tendency (and necessity) to form pairs and hence love exists among human beings.

Mating for life (or marriage...so to speak) is not just limited to human beings. Gibbon apes, wolves, termites, coyotes, barn owls, beavers, bald eagles, golden eagles, condors, swans, brolga cranes, French angel fish, sandhill cranes, pigeons, prions , red-tailed hawks, anglerfish, ospreys, prairie voles, and black vultures are all known to mate for life and just like humans, are adulterous too. Of the billion species, why do so few show this tendency? Even our closest relatives - gorillas/chimps/orangutans dont share this mating-for-life business. Why do we? The answer lies in the evolution of the species. Every species have evolved in a different way, adapting to different circumstances and environment. Let us just focus on humans. When humans seperated from the ape lineage, we became bipeds from knuckle-walkers. But not without a price to pay, and what a price we paid!

Ever wondered why human female labour (delivery pains) is so troublesome? Every female I know dreads the time she has to deliver her kid. For all the other creatures, this is a very (comparitively)simple process. Talking of mammals, Discovery channel keeps showing deers, rhinos, elephants etc giving birth to calfs with the utmost ease. The whole process takes few minutes and the mother doesn't seem to be in any (visible)pain. And the calf starts running just after few minutes of being delivered. Whereas human babies take, may be, not sure, 2 years to just walk. Why is this difference so huge? - delivery is painful, the baby needs so much care for so many years to come. And more importantly, what the eff has this got to do with love?

Evolution answers it. To become bipeds, our pelvic bones had to become stronger than ever to support the large upper bodies of humans (a task that would have been much simpler had we remained a species that walks on all fours). For the pelvis to become strong, the bone had to become large. Women were at a disadvantage; for they have the responsibility of delivering a baby. During childbirth, the baby passes through the hole in pelvis. If the pelvic bone became larger, the hole would become smaller. A smaller hole means the baby had to be delivered when it was still tiny. Over generations, the pelvic bone, in females, reached a critical point where the hole in the pelvis became small/big enough for a 9 month old baby to pass. The hole is small compared to other species and hence all the complications and pains in human birth. This is the price that females had to pay. My dear readers, you are mistaken if you think only females had to pay a price.

Every man dreams of multiple partners but we are largely a monogamous species. We fall in love, and stay loyal to our mate (atleast during the initial years). As I said before, giving birth to a tiny baby is crucial to reduce any complications. The newborn baby, apart from being tiny, is hapless and needs all the care in the world. It cannot talk, walk or do anything on its own. Tending for such a hapless little thing is a gigantic struggle, a single mother would always find it extremely difficult to do it on her own. The females needs help in rearing the child till it can support itself. Needless to say, the baby has a better rate of survival if the parents are together. Now, every species in this world evolves in a way that its genes are preserved and are passed well into the next generation. The goal of evolution is the safety of genes or in other words safety of the offspring. In order for the baby to survive, it is essential for the parents to stay together, share a bond. And there in lies the roots of love - humans evolved to form a sexual couple and the body evolved to generate the chemistry of love to felicitate this bond. So from being polygamous apes, we became monogamous humans. Fate, darn! Feeling incredulous? Better believe it.

PS: What I have written is not the brainchild of my genius. I've only written what I have read. If you are interested in reading more about evolution and love, read this wonderful book by Matt Ridley - The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature.
Next part: Beauty or Brains?

Photo Courtesy: http://media.photobucket.com/image/love%20heart/nurnadrah/love-heart-cloud.jpg

Friday, November 14, 2008

Varanasi Trip

In December 2005, my dad had this wonderful idea of spending his last LTA(leave travel allowance), before retiring, on a trip to the holiest of all places in India - Varanasi.
It was winter holidays at IIIT and I had just joined the robotics group. My professor, after I informed him about my piligrimage, told me what I could do during the travel and hotel stays - read a bunch of papers and form a basis for my thesis. Of course, those were the initial days and I was really enthusiastic and I did take a truck-load of research papers along with me. And I am shi***ng you not, I did read a couple of them on the fourth day of my trip. The reasons for which you would know later on. After the end of each of the first two days, I wrote a mail to my friends about what I felt about Varanasi. Here's what I wrote:

mail dated dec 22, 2005:

hi fellows,

now am in kaasi. visiting lot of temples daily. everything here is 'viswanath' mandir and the second language here is not urdu,not english, not bengali but our own telugu. you go near the temple side and everyone can understand and speak telugu. thats because andhrites are the largest number of visitors. guides can instantly recognize telugu ppl(even if u r not talking telugu) and come running to u offering this that and blah blah exploiting poor fellows. telugu ppl are easily fooled here, every hundi here has three languages written on it, hindi, eng and telugu. every poojari is an outright as***le, even the main pujari is no exception, everyone expects money, ppl call u into temples just like our 7 seater drivers, i was so ashamed to call myself a brahmin coz every brahmin here thinks he is the messenger of god. traffic is hell, u wouldn't want to drive a car here coz u'll never reach ur destination. u want to go by walk then the road is full of shit/dung and the famous banarasi pan. till yesterday i couldn't find any kind of bhakti here. today was a bit better, had bath in the ganga and visited a 200 BC dated buddhist site, saw the great ashoka pillar and the great 'lion capital' (the one after which india got its national symbol...4 lions ashoka chakra) that was really splendid. i went to the actual excavation site. visited japanese,chinese,thai buddhist temples, lot better than our temples. tomorrow we are going to vindhyachal and allahabad to see prayag..triveni sangamam. ppl say one has to be lucky to come to kasi and that not everyone gets a chance. for now i don't find it so, let me see if i'll be lucky in the coming 3 days.
okey dokey dudes, bye .

mail dated dec 24, 2005:

hi fellows,
today's trip was a worser experience, my dad emptied his pockets at every temple with the 'supposed' priests yelling and pleading asking us to come inside. nearly 2500 was spent on today's trip(including boat fare dakshina blah blah) for now i am thinking of converting to Christianity, baptize myself, change my name to karthikeya 'john' viswanath and celebrate christmas tomorrow. saw many 'historic' places again today where maa durga killed a rakshas, sitaji cooked meal for ramji, drank water from the well where ramji too drank..the pandit said water will be sweet but i only saw bacteria in it and drank it coz i was 'ordered' to do so, gave food to sea gulls and langurs but none of those brought any peace to my mind. i am missing my dear hyderabad so much, i dont even miss guntur this much, hyderabad is better in many ways i must confess, though it changes and corrupts people's mind, it still is the best.
perhaps i am the devil's son, u know, just like in the novel 'the omen' where the devil's son cries and becomes violent when he is taken inside a church, i too am getting revulsion for this supposedly holy city. this city is holy no doubt but the men sitting around the god have made this city more polluted than all the factories of india put together can ever hope of.
thats it from me fellows, bye c ya fellows soon on 31st,perhaps the soothing sight of hyderabad will settle me down. hope so.

I showed the above piece of writing to so many of my friends during the following years as it is very close to my heart. It was the first time I penned down an experience of mine and shared it with my friends, and it did succeed in bringing some peace of mind before I went to bed.
Those were the days when i was still a believer but, believe me, my belief was stretched to its limit after the trip. During the following many days, infact months, I used get cynical, gory, images before my eyes whenever I saw or imagined a shiv-ling. So after the first three days of the sensational shock, I preferred to stay indoors and let my mom and dad wallow in devotion. As for my professor, I read a couple of papers among the hundreds I had taken along.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Acknowledgement.

I realised the only part i enjoyed writing in my thesis was the 'Acknowledgement'. I read some sample acknowledgments in theses freely available on the net. Inspired, this is what i wrote in mine -

Dear all friends and relatives from which i got to know about IIIT, i hate you all, from the bottom of my cold heart. If not for you i would have never joined this damned place. Dear Mr. ***, why did you have to select me on the day of the ill-fated interview. If you had correctly assessed my capabilities of using a bloody computer you would have saved some 2 lakhs or so that IIIT spends on each MS student and i would have learnt to cultivate some god-damned crop for my living. Now i am good for nothing - neither i can code nor can i be a farmer. Should i beg in front of your door daily?

Respected sir, Dr. **, why did you join me in your lab? Because you had no students or did you miss a clerk in your lab? Working under you was a pain. I can't forget the days when you forgot the basic difference between a donkey and your student. If there is a concept of after-life then i would wish to be your guide in my next life and give you a dose of your own medicine.

All my researcher friends from IIIT, i hate you too. I hate all the days when you made me green with envy reciting your success stories. So what if you you had published a paper in the top-most conference? I'll wipe my *** with it if you make me listen to you again. I mean it. Though i love to see your green faces when i talk about my papers. I hated all the discussions about research and never followed any of the advises you gave me. Losers, you couldn't even tell my phony reactions and 'mm-hmms'.

Three cheers to my other friends from whom i picked up the habit of drinking, smoking and doping. Life's true meaning, i learnt it from you guys. God bless you and may your sons and daughters follow our footsteps. Can't forget the nights when we were high and bashed up the security in front of the girl's hostel. Can't forget the nights when we stole peripherals from the comp labs, peed in front of the Director's house, teased girls, drove in a drunken state, knocked the doors of unsuspecting neighbors and ran away, vomited on the corridors and slept on the floors. Would miss it all. Love you all buggers.

Bitch - the one word i reserve for my girl-friend. Always nagging and melodramatic. Never allowed me to concentrate on whatever little research i tried to squeeze out of my busy schedule. A moment of peace has become so rare in my life thanks to her. My wallet, my bank account and my skull - all have been driven empty trying to satisfy her whims. Curse the day when i met her. Bitch.

I would love to thank the librarian of IIIT for storing all the novels which helped me stay for more than 1000 days in this researcher-haunted place. Thanks for all the downloaders who downloaded all the movies ,of all types- if you know what i mean. Finally i thank God - you helped me stay here and lose all faith in you. I dedicate my thesis to all you sinners, may your souls rot in hell.

PS: I wrote the above post just as a spoof. None of the stuff reflect what i really have in my mind and what i really wrote in my thesis. I love my friends and I respect my prof the most. Love IIIT and everything that's related to it. These three years, that i spent here, have been the best so far in my life. What i wrote is purely fictious. I just tried to fit into the shoes of a demented frustrated researcher and write a fictious account. After writing, i felt people might actually get offended thinking it as a true confession. Please don't have any such wrong notions.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Dreams - 1.

Obviously one must hold oneself responsible for the evil impulses of one's dreams. In what other way can one deal with them? Unless the content of the dream rightly understood is inspired by alien spirits, it is part of my own being. - Sigmund Freud

Thanks to the book 'The Interpretation of Murder' my interest in psychoanalysis and freudian theories got renewed. The wannabe freud in me wants to interpret my own dreams and would be happy if anybody else interprets them for me. So from today onwards i would describe my (printable) dreams in my blog space. Here are few of the dreams i dreamt in the past couple of days -

  1. A giant board based tile game with numbers written on the tiles. I wasn't particularly keen on solving the puzzle but was just thinking there should be many 2's on the tiles.
  2. I hear a non-telugu speaking labmate of mine speaking fluent telugu and i wonder what personal stuff i might have talked in front of him assuming he doesn't understand my language.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Doomsday.

Trying to distract yourself from something sweet and lovely is difficult. While i was trying to figure out how it could be done i came up with an idea to list all the ways man-kind(woman-kind as well) could end! So here's what my demented brain could think of -
  1. A Nuclear Holocaust: Pakistan, which in Chomsky's words is the paradigm example of a failed state, as we all know is a nuclear power. The current political unrest in pakistan is a matter of great concern to all the countries of the world as the extremists and fundamentalists threaten to take over the reigns. No matter how much Gen. Mush claims that he has the situation under control the fact remains that there is a possibility of terrorists usurping power and getting hold of Pakistan's huge nuclear arsenal. Potential targets are USA, India, Israel, Europe. Enough to end man-kind i believe!
  2. An Asteroid Impact: An asteroid impact on Earth could have a devastating effect. This theory, made popular by hollywood movies, is as realistic as any other in my list. Earth, moving at a speed of sixty-six thousand miles an hour, goes through an orbit which is criss-crossed my millions of asteroids every year. The number of asteroids which are big enough to completely obliterate human existence runs into thousands but that's not the scariest part - most(read it as almost all) of these asteroids are undetectable. So forget sending a team of drillers to the asteroid and try nuke it, we won't even know until somebody yells 'look, the sun is falling!'. An asteroid of the size of a truck(there are millions of them) could take out an entire city! The chain of events that would unfold after an impact from an asteroid of a football ground's size is unfathomable. It would be wrong to imagine it would only destroy a small region on the planet's surface, the potential aftermath could be breathtaking to hear; first, the asteroid would compress the atmospheric air beneath it and as a result would burn everything in its path even before it touches them!. Second, It would burn/kill/destroy everything that's within a few hundred miles from the site of impact. Third, a flash of blindening light followed by complete darkness. Fourth, my favourite, everything that is within a thousand miles would be flattened out and completely destroyed. This is just the immediate effect of the impact, what follows afterwards is another story. Earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, we are gonna have them all! Half the planet would be on fire and the dust, soot and smoke would block sun for many years disrupting the ecological balance and all the natural cycles essential for life. Mass exodus would lead to utter chaos. Scary!
  3. Global Warming: Most boring! We have heard enough of global warming in the last one year that it has become so banal to talk about it. But all this hype is not without a reason, global warming sits right in front of us looking straight into our face. It is the only possible catastrophy in my list that could be prevented through collective responsibility. The possible effects of global warming, as wikipedia states, are extreme weather, increased evaporation, destabilization of local climates, glacier retreat, rising sea levels, temperature rise, acidification, shutdown of thermohaline circulation, forest fires and not to mention the drastic effects on world economy. Quite a lot of them, each of which could cause serious damage to the human race. Those who are willing to to do their bit in fighting this monster can visit al gore's site and find out what you can do.
  4. An Epidemic: Influenza, cholera, Spanish flu, HIV, Bird flu; History books are full of stories telling about different diseases that plagued humans and caused millions of death at various periods of time. A new virus surfaces each decade causing misery to thousands. Billions of dollars are spent each year on influenza research only to find the virus has mutated and the vaccines have no effect. There is every possibility of a deadly virus cropping up from somewhere and wiping out the entire living population.
  5. Super Volcanoes & Plate Tectonics: Earth has a history of super volcanic eruptions which have been linked to the mass extinction of certain species. A series of volcanic eruptions around 65 million years ago in India is speculated to be the cause of the most famous paleontology mystery - the disappearance of dinosaurs from the face of Earth. Intense geological activity caused by the friction between tectonic plates could trigger volcanoes and earthquakes leading to mass destruction.
  6. Exhaustion of Natural Resources: All the natural resources of the world would get exhausted in the coming few decades with a few a exceptions like the arab world which can boast of huge deposits. Barrel prices would increase making the arabs rich until one day when a fuel-starved country decides to attack them. I would like to think this could set-off of a chain of destructive events, it's my f***in imagination after all.
  7. Theories from Fiction: I would list some of my favorite theories from books and movies - blood thirsty zombies, created by a biological experiment gone horribly wrong or by alien radiation, alien invasion, devil has a whim to end the world, godzilla rising from the seas, a mad scientist resurrects dinosaurs, robots stop listening to humans and last but not the least, my favourite, a black hole created accidentally by an atom smasher!