Thursday, April 30, 2009

The story of love, Part II : Beauty or Brains?



"you know my hips don't lie"
- shakira

Not so long ago, whilst enjoying a gelato, I was posed a difficult question by two female friends, "So karthik tell me, what do you look for in a woman - Beauty or Brains?". Any man who poses to be rational would give the obvious answer - "Brains, of course!" and I replied no differently. But then it wasn't as phony as it might sound, at least looking at the history of females I fell for. In hindsight, I would say the question is not as simple to answer.

What is the common gripe of women against men?, "men..men...men, idiots are total suckers for beauty. It doesn't matter how stupid the female is, all they care is how pretty she is, aaaargh!". Are these just proverbial complaints or do they have an element of truth? of course, they do, we all know that. Beauty is a necessity while brains is just a bonus. If you ask a man, who has recently fallen in love, what he has seen in the woman he loves? What would be the likely set of answers? "dude, she is intelligent", "it's her attitude", "it's her innocence", "it's her friendliness", "she's homely" and all that crap. No one truly admits the real reason - that the guy finds her beautiful and the rest niceties are all just added bonuses. If the guy doesn't find the girl beautiful, no matter what other goodies he sees in her, he won't fall in love with her.

What is beauty? has the definition of beauty been consistent over the generations, over the different races, over the people from the same region, or for that matter, has it been consistent for the same guy as he ages? The answer is no, we all know "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder". As a teen, I used to wonder why Naomi Campbell is considered pretty. If you are fat, you cannot be a heroine in Bollywood, but I've heard and observed heroines getting intentionally fat for fame in the tamil movie industry (the trend, may be, is on the decline). If a size-zero supermodel comes to me and asks me to marry her (it's my bloody blog and I will imagine only those hypothetical situations that will please me) ,I would first ask her to eat properly. Historians say at one time, the western world considered fat women to be beautiful (not fat fat of course). May be the painting(and many such Victorian/roman era paintings), by titian circa 1550 AD, might prove that. Whereas the sculptures in medieval India (especially temples from tamilnadu) show goddesses having slim figures. European women like to bathe in the sun, Indian women like to run away from the sun - both to be in accordance to the standards of beauty currently in vogue, in their respective countries. To cut short a long story, the perception of beauty changes from man to man, race to race, generation to generation. Your perception of beauty changes with the kind of people you grow up with, kind of women you've been seeing around, or, in other words, beauty is nurtured. If I were raised in the US, may be, I would have been running after the size-zero ones, if I had been raised in tamilnadu (of yesteryears), I would have been running after plump ones. So, is there no idea of beauty ingrained in my genes? a concept that I was born with? Yes, there is such a concept. As usual, evolution holds the key.

The idea of beauty, that a man is born with, in his genes is........the immensely popular.......36-24-36 hour-glass figure with a round arse/buttocks. Of course, we are not born with those numbers but we are born to appreciate and admire the ratio, of bust/waist/hip. The measurement itself is not important but the ratio is - A big bust, slim waist and a hip wider when compared with the waist. This standard of beauty has been pretty much consistent over the generations, races and individuals. Most of the traditional clothes, be it a saree or a victorian era ball gown or a womens cut tee-shirt, try and accentuate this ratio. The hour glass figure, is pretty much liked by every man on this planet. And when something is consistent and common over the entire human population, you have got to suspect it's evolution. Let's take a bottom-up approach (pun intended). The hips- men swoon over when shakira, with the utmost ease, shakes, and does wonders with her hips. Unfortunately, we can only speculate why men evolved to appreciate a wide hip. The popular theory is that, a wider hip might have fooled men into thinking that the woman's pelvic bone is large (read my earlier post) and hence his baby is safe. It means we are still fools, our brains are hardwired to like wide hips. Men are obsessed with breasts, they really are. Ninth grade science textbook teaches you breasts are secondary sexual organs - meaning they help a woman in attracting a mate. Breasts, definitely do serve the purpose, but it has got to have a reason. When humans, thousands of years ago, still walked on fours, the act of sexual intercourse was performed only with the man penetrating the woman from behind(yes, doggy) and not in the face-to-face way. Because of the 'behind' penetration, a secondary sexual organ had to be behind a woman's body - the arse. We still have those instincts in us and hence we(men) find the arse an integral factor in assessing a woman's sexiness. After we became bipeds, watching the other gender (and penetrating them) became a more open-chested like. So now, the secondary sexual organ had to be in the front side, and breasts took over the role (This transition is evident if you observe chimps and gorillas where breasts seem to have no other purpose other than to give milk to the baby apes). So, breasts became the secondary sexual organs, but why breasts, that once were just milk ducts? Why not ears, or why not the waist become differently shaped? Either you believe something had to change and breasts were chosen or think more and say it had to have a reason. There are multiple theories but I can only remember one, the one which always catches my imagination - the one which says men are fools. The theory says, men were fooled into thinking that larger breasts mean more milk for his baby! Until I read about this theory, I thought a larger breast could indeed store more milk than a smaller one. Hence proved, men are fools! Coming to the last one, the question of why a slim waist?(as i said before, it's not the measurement that is important but the ratio. by a slim waist I mean, slimmer compared to the hip) May be a slimmer waist just helped to show how wide the hip is, may be.

I've written what a man finds attractive in a woman and why. I've tried to define beauty from a man's point of view. I said a man has to find a woman beautiful before he falls in love with her. There is still one question left unanswered - Why does a man have to find a woman beautiful? why doesn't a man share his life with the first woman that comes in his path? why does he have to be choosy - by assessing her beauty? Like I said earlier, a man finds attractive in a woman those attributes/characteristics that would help his baby. This also answers the current question, he wants a beautiful wife because his idea of beauty(that has been etched into his brain) is beneficial for his unborn baby. Why does he (or his brain) care about an unborn child so much so that he bases his entire perception of beauty on what he thinks would be great for that child? As I wrote in my earlier post, every species evolves such that its genes are well preserved into the next generation, that is why. Why is this not observed in other species - during their mating season, a peacock mates with any peahen that chooses him, a bullock will mate with any cow, a male lion will mate with any set of female lions that join his harem. Then why this extraordinary pressure on female humans to be beautiful, why human males are choosy? Love and its origins have the answers. Since humans share their entire lives with a single partner, he has to be choosy, he has only one shot at fathering a healthy set of babies because he will have those babies with only one partner. Whereas, in species that have a no concept of marriage, the males have multiples shots at becoming father to babies from multiple females - in such a case it doesn't make sense to be choosy, it makes sense to mate as much as possible to spread the male's genes. So in other species, where males need not be choosy and selective, the females are under no pressure to be beautiful.

Richard Dawkins, in his book 'The Selfish Gene', writes how we are all just slaves of our genes. Our entire existence is just to satisfy the whims of those genes. But we do have free-will, something that gives us the strength of acting against our primal instincts. Matt Ridley, in his book 'Genome: The Autobiography of a Species in 23 Chapters', writes how, even free-will is just an illusion created by genes and we are never actually free (much like the premise of the movie, The Matrix). In a hypothetical situation, suppose you can choose to either lie(and get away) or speak the truth(and give some explanation). It might seem you have a choice, but in reality you don't, the outcome has already been decided by your genes. In the future, when the human genome is perfectly decoded, it could be possible to know what exactly you would do in a particular well-defined situation. The movie 'Gattaca' has a storyline similar to this. At the climax of that movie, the hero(with a weak set of genes) does extra-ordinary things and the movie closes with the line,"there is no human gene for courage"; I would beg to differ, there is a human gene for everything. All is not lost; Matt Ridley also says free-will is very much possible. I am not too well-versed in those aspects of genes and hence can't reproduce here what he wrote. I, personally, don't like the idea of not having a choice, of not having a free-will, I sincerely wish we do.

PS: What I have written is not the brainchild of my genius. I've only written what I have read. If you are interested in reading more about evolution and love, read this wonderful book by Matt Ridley - The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature.
Next part: Time for Women to Choose

Photo1 Courtesy: Bill Watterson and his genius
Photo2 Courtesy: Titian, don't know who holds the copyrights
Photo3 Courtesy: photographersdirect.com

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The story of love, Part I : The Origins.

Man: Why do I love? Why do I want to be loved?....WHAT IS LOVE?
God: The punishment for wanting to walk on two legs and not on your fours like every other creature.
Man: [&^%&**$%^&] What the......???!!!
God: lol



Love is, quintessentially, the reason why humans bond and form a pair. Would love had existed if there had not been a tendency among humans to form a sexual couple? Or am I jumbling the the cause and effect relationship here - is love the cause or the effect? Most romantics might say humans are capable of love and hence they form pairs but the actual truth is the opposite. We have an evolutionary tendency (and necessity) to form pairs and hence love exists among human beings.

Mating for life (or marriage...so to speak) is not just limited to human beings. Gibbon apes, wolves, termites, coyotes, barn owls, beavers, bald eagles, golden eagles, condors, swans, brolga cranes, French angel fish, sandhill cranes, pigeons, prions , red-tailed hawks, anglerfish, ospreys, prairie voles, and black vultures are all known to mate for life and just like humans, are adulterous too. Of the billion species, why do so few show this tendency? Even our closest relatives - gorillas/chimps/orangutans dont share this mating-for-life business. Why do we? The answer lies in the evolution of the species. Every species have evolved in a different way, adapting to different circumstances and environment. Let us just focus on humans. When humans seperated from the ape lineage, we became bipeds from knuckle-walkers. But not without a price to pay, and what a price we paid!

Ever wondered why human female labour (delivery pains) is so troublesome? Every female I know dreads the time she has to deliver her kid. For all the other creatures, this is a very (comparitively)simple process. Talking of mammals, Discovery channel keeps showing deers, rhinos, elephants etc giving birth to calfs with the utmost ease. The whole process takes few minutes and the mother doesn't seem to be in any (visible)pain. And the calf starts running just after few minutes of being delivered. Whereas human babies take, may be, not sure, 2 years to just walk. Why is this difference so huge? - delivery is painful, the baby needs so much care for so many years to come. And more importantly, what the eff has this got to do with love?

Evolution answers it. To become bipeds, our pelvic bones had to become stronger than ever to support the large upper bodies of humans (a task that would have been much simpler had we remained a species that walks on all fours). For the pelvis to become strong, the bone had to become large. Women were at a disadvantage; for they have the responsibility of delivering a baby. During childbirth, the baby passes through the hole in pelvis. If the pelvic bone became larger, the hole would become smaller. A smaller hole means the baby had to be delivered when it was still tiny. Over generations, the pelvic bone, in females, reached a critical point where the hole in the pelvis became small/big enough for a 9 month old baby to pass. The hole is small compared to other species and hence all the complications and pains in human birth. This is the price that females had to pay. My dear readers, you are mistaken if you think only females had to pay a price.

Every man dreams of multiple partners but we are largely a monogamous species. We fall in love, and stay loyal to our mate (atleast during the initial years). As I said before, giving birth to a tiny baby is crucial to reduce any complications. The newborn baby, apart from being tiny, is hapless and needs all the care in the world. It cannot talk, walk or do anything on its own. Tending for such a hapless little thing is a gigantic struggle, a single mother would always find it extremely difficult to do it on her own. The females needs help in rearing the child till it can support itself. Needless to say, the baby has a better rate of survival if the parents are together. Now, every species in this world evolves in a way that its genes are preserved and are passed well into the next generation. The goal of evolution is the safety of genes or in other words safety of the offspring. In order for the baby to survive, it is essential for the parents to stay together, share a bond. And there in lies the roots of love - humans evolved to form a sexual couple and the body evolved to generate the chemistry of love to felicitate this bond. So from being polygamous apes, we became monogamous humans. Fate, darn! Feeling incredulous? Better believe it.

PS: What I have written is not the brainchild of my genius. I've only written what I have read. If you are interested in reading more about evolution and love, read this wonderful book by Matt Ridley - The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature.
Next part: Beauty or Brains?

Photo Courtesy: http://media.photobucket.com/image/love%20heart/nurnadrah/love-heart-cloud.jpg

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The french experience so far....

It's very cold here, i am unable to come out without my thick winter jacket. i wear atleast 4 layers of clothing to protect myself. It'll be sunny, but the temparature would be 6 degrees.

The french are very well-mannered, even strangers wish you bonjour, bonsoir and all that while i just stare at them perplexed.

If somebody is walking in front of you and happens to open a door, he/she holds it till you are also inside/outside. and you are supposed to say, "merci". After slamming the door on a couple of unsuspecting victims, I have also started this practice.

If you wish people and try to blurt out something in french, they are highly pleased. After which you can just sing in English and they will sing along.

Every foreigner has to undergo a compulsory medical examination. The doctor to which i went doesn't speak english well. In the middle, he asked me if i had breast cancer!

A couple was kissing right in front of me in the tram and like all Indian males, I stared with huge bulging eyes. The guy gave me a "I'll smash your ***** to pieces" look and i had to turn some other way, damn!

while I shiver in the cold underneath 4 layers of clothing, french women somehow manage to wear teensy skirts. I take my warmth from it.

They have traffic signals everywhere, even for people who walk, I never follow.

The super markets are gigantic, each item has ten thousand varities - milk has ten varities - creme, demi-creme, rich with calcium, rich with magnesium....... Wish there was one with cyanide. Even toilet cleaners have lots of varities - super strong, strong, mild, rose fragnance, perfumed, red, blue, yellow. Needless to say, I went mad.

Even if you apply a quintal of moisturiser on your face, it is still dry.

You have to drink water from the taps, which, by the way, is RECYCLED!

Pakistanis are very friendly.

And finally, the french think I am married, have a wife with 10 kids home. God knows what they will think after I lose my remaining hair. Granpa vishy?

Trying to track my own self here:
Homesick factor: 5/10
Excitement Factor: 5/10

Image Courtesy: http://www.experts-comptables.fr/

Monday, January 12, 2009

Planet Earth: Absolutely and Amazingly Breathtaking

"A hundred years ago, there were one and a half billion people on Earth. Now, over six billion crowd our fragile planet. But even so, there are still places barely touched by humanity. This series will take you to the last wildernesses and show you the planet and its wildlife as you have never seen them before."
David Attenborough's opening narration, from the BBC series, "Planet Earth"


I would try and add a few more words from my side about this 11-part magnum opus without spoiling any of the magic those few lines from Attenborough must have surely created in your mind.

Have you ever cried watching a documentary which is not about holocaust victims or partition victims or about human beings at all? I did. Watching a male bird of paradise put up a dance show to impress a female bird or watching a polar bear walk&slip on thin ice and then swim for more than 50 miles in icy waters braving certain death in search of a morsel of food and ultimately perishing, I fluctuated from being elated to feeling downright sad.

In a particular telugu movie, set in the wild wild west of Andhra Pradesh (oh yes!), cowboys and sherriff of anakapalli keep fighting for the map of a diamond mine. In the climax, every buffoon in the movie ends up inside the mine where diamonds, mountains of them, grow as stalagmites. I distinctly remember laughing at that scene till my guts threatened to jettison through my food pipe. Imagine my astonishment when in the 4th part of the series, 'caves', they show the insides of Lechuguilla cave which have the exact similar diamond stalagmites, for real! Well, not exactly diamonds, but no less spectacular. Gypsum crystals, to be specific.

Here's a short list of my favourite tales shown in the series -
1. Birds of paradise.
2. A female polar bear leading its two tiny cubs on vast plains of ice in search of food.
3. A humpback whale travelling for more than 1000 miles to give birth to its calf in safe waters, then feeding it for 5 months while starving and finally swimming back the 1000 miles to the feeding grounds. The calf leaves the mother then.
4. A billion Cicadas emerging from the grounds of a forest - one in a 17 year spectacle.
5. A mandarin duck encouraging its seven ducklings to leap from their tree trunk nest high up. All of them leap one by one onto the ground and they safely land. I couldn't help but whistle.
6. Emperor Penguins and their life each year. Each male sings and females choose their mates based on the singing, then the courtship starts resulting in mating. Few weeks later, the female gives an egg and is too tired to incubate and hence the males take the responsibility and how. For the entire duration of winter they brave the chilly winds and hide the eggs underneath their bellies while tightly forming a huge huddle to stay warm. At the end of four months, the females return from the ocean. A frenzy takes over the huddle as they hear their mates returning, the singing starts again and each penguin identifies its mate among the thousands. After a brief romantic moment, the female keeps prodding the male to let her take over the now hatched chick. The male is reluctant to let go off the chick, which he has been guarding with his life. But ultimately, he does yield. I cried at this particular scene(not weepy weepy cry ofcourse, overwhelmed teary-eyed types :P) and saw it a zillion times over and over.
7. A great white shark pouncing on a seal, filmed in super slow motion. Do watch the clip - A 2-ton beast leaping out of water and grasping a seal, all in just one-second!
8. Rarest of rare, a beauuutiful snow leopard chasing long a mountain goat on the steepiest of slopes in the himalayas. The goat jumps into water just at the last second and the leopard returns empty-handed to its hungry cub.
9. Demoiselle cranes making the toughest migration in the world - crossing the himalayas, flying high up above them to reach the Indian subcontinent. Tired from the arduous, they have to duck from the preadatory eagles and fly against turbulents to use rising cloumns of hot air to cross the gigantic mountains and breed in India.
10. A carnivorous pitcher plant and a spider exploiting it.
11. One community of chimps raiding another and cannibalising.
12. This one straight out of a sci-fi movie - Parasitic fungus infecting ants and insects and rising out of their brains.
13. An arctic fox stealing the eggs and chicks of snow geese. Your heart pounds for the two birds chasing frantically the fox hoping to secure the chicks from the fox's mouth. But your sympathies would change sides when the female fox brings all its catch to its young hungry cubs. There are millions of birds but only a handful of foxes and they remain hungry throughout the year, only the breeding season brings them food. This is the case with every predatory animal on this planet.
Many many many more........................................

Life is truly great, evolution has made it so. The ability of a living organism to gradually adapt to its surroundings and find a balance with its eco-system is remarkable. This series made me want to become an environmentalist but I do feel, no matter how bad humans plague this planet, life would survive beyond us. It might take a million/billion/zillion years again but new species would arise out of the ashes we leave. Not for anything else, but for the dead polar bear, I do wish global warming recedes and they have their natural habitat intact. I'm going green.

"Our planet is still full of wonders. As we explore them, so we gain not only understanding, but power. It's not just the future of the whale that today lies in our hands: it's the survival of the natural world in all parts of the living planet. We can now destroy or we can cherish. The choice is ours."

David Attenborough, in closing